So… you might have noticed that I didn’t stream last week. And I barely did so the week before that, despite having a brand new schedule with timeslots and fancy names.
Now, I could trot out any number of very reasonable excuses as to why that happened, between the rioting and horrific violence being inflicted by police in the US to my own emotional and mental bandwidth being clogged by issues relating to family.
The truth is… I’m simply not in a place where I can support a schedule right now, on both a mental and emotional level. And I don’t mean just for streaming – this is prevalent throughout my day, from sleeping to visiting my mom, doctors appointments, anything that requires me to be doing a certain thing at a certain time.
“But Trunks, sometimes you just need to force yourself to do a thing” I hear you say. Well, I don’t, but you know what I mean. And yes, I could do that. But then my streams are terrible because I don’t want to be there, and it SUPER shows in the quality and commentary. Don’t believe me? Go watch a bit of the VOD from my last DOOM Eternal session. It sucks balls. I know it now, I knew it then, but I thought if I just forced myself to do it, everything would be okay. Apparently I don’t work that way, and now instead of feeling satisfied and fulfilled because I did the thing, I feel like an abject failure. And I still do. I’ll be super honest and say I had to fight not to make this a post announcing my retirement from streaming as I don’t feel like I’m good enough to be producing content that people enjoy and want to watch.
So what am I saying? Although I really don’t think that I’m a good content creator, I’m not giving it up. I’m going back to the wild days of “I’mma stream when I feel up to it”. I know that makes catching my streams really difficult, and believe me, it makes my numbers bad (which then directly impacts on my sense of accomplishment) but I’d rather do this than not stream at all.
BUT WAIT there’s more! For the low price of 19.99 you can get bonus recorded content! I’m going to start recording stuff for Youtube again, because I can do that whenever I feel up to it rather than worry that if I stream at an odd hour, no-one will turn up to it. So I guess now I get to announce the latest venture in Capsule Corp content creation… Gaming with Trunks9809!
Yep, a brand new YouTube channel specifically for gaming content! Go here: gaming.trunks9809.com to find it! I’m actually going to be uploading all of my content for the foreseeable future to both this channel and the new channel as an experiment of sorts to see which does better… Either way, the new channel is going to be the long-term home for my gaming content – tips and tricks, deck guides, character builds, let’s plays, the whole cornucopia!
I’m sorry to anyone reading this who feels a crushing disappointment. I feel it too. I hope this move will help me get to a better place when I can actually do a simple thing like have a damn schedule, but until then, trying and failing to keep a schedule is actually proving detrimental to my health, and right now, I kinda need everything I can get.
Thanks to everyone who continues to support me. I know it’s difficult but I thank each and every one of your from the bottom of my heart. You’re all amazing and I love you.